Fuegos Taco Shack & Grill - Bakersfield

Long has it been since I've drawn my pen shining, but I return for the same reason I began: I've found a new best breakfast burrito in Bakersfield.

The journey has been treacherous. Old favorites have been returned to the annals of distaste. Long-standing champs laid waste to new cooks, over-turned management, and the ever-present onslaught of impending greasiness.

Caucacity abounds on the streets of Bakersfield pushing tastes ever further into the depths of mayonnaise, Kraft singles, and butter noodles. Taco trucks come and taco trucks go, but a new contender has been born from the dust serving up "fresh food, not fast food."

I heard about Fuego's from a friend at the bar, so I went the very next day. I had Asada tacos and an Al Pastor burrito. It took 20 minutes or so to get what I ordered, but time is of little importance when taste is the highest concern. Every time I looked up anxiously to see if my order was ready a person was busting their ass over a hot stove and a sign read on the window like a warning as well as a guarantee "fresh food, not fast food."

I have often said I will pay extra and wait longer if they'll just do the damn thing right the first time. A cook blaming their ingredients, their time, or their patron's lack of complacency and support in their grand plan seems like a cop-out, and I refuse to be a contributor to the problem.

So I waited, and my wait was rewarded with hot and delicious fresh food. I sped through an Al Pastor burrito and asada tacos with a fervor facilitated by a bottle of coke. The Al Pastor was fucking fantastic. However, I wasn't moved to write a review...Not yet.

I returned, had more tacos and more burritos. Still, no pressure from the muse. No whispers in the mind. Nothing.

I've driven thousands of miles. Eaten hundreds of burritos in less days. Searched far and wide with beard-face earnest, so the muse doesn't always bare itself to me in all the vulgarity I think I deserve.

I carried on beaten and battered. Lost without a burrito to call home. No morning endeavor holds much promise. That is, until today.

Today, I sought Fuego's breakfast burrito. The #3...although I saw no numbers or even the mention of a breakfast burrito outside of a single white sheet of paper announcing their availability between 7:30am and 10:30am.

Bacon, seasoned potatoes, scrambled eggs, pico de gallo, your choice of red, green, or their own Fuego salsa, and, finally, your choice of meat. That's right, bacon is a condiment. For my money, Al Pastor all the time. Their pork is deliciously seasoned and succulent. The saltiness of the bacon does a back flip in tandem with the peppery potatoes. Scrambled eggs fluff up the burrito giving the illusion of lightness while the pico delivers freshness and acidity to the rich ensemble.

With Fuego sauce, like many scratchmade salsas, one can never be sure which level of heat has shown up. I've had it a few times now, and this morning's batch was by far the hottest and tastiest. Honestly, I needed another cup, but that could be my own problem.

Order came to about $7. To some, I understand this may seem steep, but there were no microwaves. No reheating. The meat you order is cooked for you. Everything you ask for is cooked for you right there. Fresh and hot. You can easily drop more money for way less at any fast food joint. Do your stummy a favor and give it a little fire. You'll be as stoked as I am.

A Fail In Glendale

Last weekend, the LA clouds wept for my departure. Under sobbing skies, I passed through Glendale in an attempt to check off yet another burrito on the LAist top 10 BB's at Taqueria El Tapatio. I arrived a little before 9:30am, and, due to my lack of investigation, was greeted by locked doors. One does not eat the best breakfast burrito until 10am, so I waited.

When the gates opened, I was the first to order.

"I'm sorry, but we just opened. Do you mind waiting 15 minutes while we get everything ready?"

"Not a problem. I'll take the breakfast burrito and one of the cheese tacos." (yelp reviews raved about the tacos, too)

Cash only, so I happily gave the lady my last $6 in cash. I sat down and was given some chips and salsa to chomp on while I waited. Chips were hot and fresh out of fryer with decent cups of two different types of salsa that I may have had a hard time discerning if I were blindfolded.

A man down on his luck was sweeping the outdoor dining area and blasting "All She Wants To Do Is Dance" while all I wanted to do was eat. The sweet 80's bangers swirled around my head for the better part of an hour before I lost hope.

The vibe was all wrong. All of the patrons were restless, including myself. I could not imagine the best breakfast burrito in Glendale slipping out of that window, so I told them to keep the money for the chips and drink.

Maybe it was the sadness of leaving LA, the overcast day, or the grumpiness associated with a man of my stature not eating, but I had to leave. A quick search brought me to another well reviewed establishment only to be greeted by yet another "Cash Only" sign.

You win, Glendale, but I shall return - WITH CASH!

The Burrito Life

Perhaps it is like the effervescent steam wafting above sizzling carne asada on a flattop or, maybe, more akin to the dissipating fog clearing slow from the asphalt. The morning mist joins mourning lovers of cold nights greeted by a sun too confident in its promise of safety and light dreaming up lofty visions for future burritos yet to be had.

A rose will bloom, it then will fade, but not my passion for tortilla-swaddled food.

In my absence I have learned many things about myself. I have discovered unprecedented skills in procrastination. A debilitating fear of success and failure ever-present in my day to day life. The experience of eating a burrito in a hovel far surpasses any words I may write about it, but that does not diminish the importance of the attempt.

In 2014 I consumed hundreds, literally multiples of 100 burritos. I traveled up and down California with a brief jaunt into Arizona tracking the best burritos the West Coast had to offer. I spoke with proprietors of establishments dating back to the early 20th century. I was leveled by nostalgia in a rundown taco shop. I was interviewed on a burrito excursion for radio. I was featured in the local paper with a front page mention and a full page spread. And then I documented it all and shared it with you.

And you read it!

Thank you. Sincerely, thank you for everything. For suggestions, for recommendations, for reading and sharing with your friends and family. I appreciate it more than you know.

So I guess I'm writing to say that I will be updating this again. I hope the posts are informative, but I also want them to be more personal. Some of my favorite posts from the last year are a good mix of culinary critique, op-ed ranting, and pure unadulterated confession.

If you are still around, enjoy.