El Dollar Taqueria - Wasco, CA

At least once a week I drive down 7th Standard/Merle Haggard Highway on my way into town from visiting the oilfields, and I pass the same taco truck seemingly stranded on the side of the road. More often than not, by the time I pass by I am full of empanadas from El Sol De Guadalajara bakery, but it was time to find out how they were single-handedly holding down this stretch of highway.

I pull up among a group of white work trucks, so it seems one lady alone is providing a service to the field and factory workers operating close by. Birria, Lengua, Cabeza, Carnitas, and chicken were all available to be done up into tacos, burritos, or tortas, but I chose to play it safe and conservative with an Asada burrito.

Looking down into my bite mark I can see a veritable Mexican cornucopia spilling out. Deep red chiles and dark green cilantro accent blackened steak while a solid supporting cast of rice, beans, and onions fill out the lightly toasted tortilla. My only complaint lies in the cut and quality of steak I received. More than a couple bites were met with chewy gristle which can take even the most devout right out of the joy in great tasting food. 

Either way, I am undeterred. The promise written in the tastes contained within this burrito ensure I shall return to sample the other offerings. Especially after seeing the ever-elusive birria on menu. 

Be sure to ask for a side of hot sauce. The red adds a good heat with even more flavor. 

El Sitio - Ventura, CA

Nuzzled in snugly to Django's Coffee House in Ventura, CA is a small, unassuming delight. My guide on this adventure raves about the al pastor, so we decide to split a burrito and load up on salsas. 

Being our third burrito of the day, one may question the voracity of our appetites, but rest-assured the allure of marinated pork swaddled in a thick chewy tortilla can coax a growl out of the fullest of stomachs. 

Succulent and tender bits of pork were buried deep in a fiery spectrum of rice, beans, and spices. A welcome counterpoint to the airy cuts of shark and substantial chunks of steak. Lesser spots may try to skirt by on the same pork used for the carnitas only to dress up the differences between al pastor and chile verde as the sauce one uses, but this pork had the char of slow braising after being massaged with spices to differentiate from such imposters.

The salsas were fresh and effective, but I fancied the orange habanero most for its complexity and heat.

By far the most out of the way spot located in a quiet neighborhood in the more suburban part of Ventura, but well worth a stop to round out the day. 

Three more remain as we prepare for the return of Chris the Sound Guy and his episode showcasing the burrito adventure in its full splendor. 

Surf N Taco - Ventura, CA

I went to Santa Paula and Ventura to hit some of the spots you guys had recommended as well as record an episode for my friend's local radio show: Chris the Sound Guy here in Bakersfield. It will be airing this Thursday @ 5pm, and the entire one hour episode documents our burrito adventure down in Ventucky. I will be posting a link to the podcast once it goes live.

One of FIVE stops on our coastal excursion is Surf N' Taco located on Baja Bay in the marina. Ocean air seasons the meal with lapping waves and sail boats visible from the parking lot. Halibut and shrimp options worried my underdeveloped sea palette, but when I read "Shark" the decision was made.

My shark burrito arrived in an with freshly fried chips in an ocean blue cardboard tray. The cross-section cut revealed a gorgeous shark filet surrounded by rice, beans, cheese, and cabbage with a verde salsa on the side in a cup. The bite was tender and flaky with a clean finish. No disturbing sea funk contaminating the flavors.

This was a welcome respite from the heavier contenders of the day allowing my waistline to breathe a little bit before resuming the fray.

The chips and salsa were forgettable leaving Chris no other option but Tapatio for spiciness.

Not every day do I get to eat Jaws or consume the meal equivalent of shark week, so I definitely recommend Surf & Taco to lovers of seafood. 

Some behind the scenes information for those wondering. Yes, we ate 5 burritos, but 4 of those were cut in half for a couple of reasons. One, we didn't want to get so stuffed as to not be able to give proper reviews, and two, cutting the burrito in half allows for pretty pictures. The day of reviews was spread out over about 8 hours. I suggest using some form of this technique if you wish to emulate a burrito adventure.

Tinga - Los Angeles, CA

Sometimes a place gets me on a personal level. The style and delivery at Tinga on La Brea in LA fits right into my aesthetic. From the taco and burrito inspired art of Brett Westfall plastered over the walls, including some great murals in the bathrooms, to the southeast Asian meets southwest American inspired cuisine. If I were to tell someone how I want a restaurant to look, this would probably be it.

I ordered the chicken tinga burrito and short rib tacos to split with D. Of course, I threw in a few cold lagers to wash everything down. The shredded chicken swims in a chipotle sauce which reminds me of a peanut curry with black beans, gaucamole, lettuce, chipotle salsa, montery jack, and crema creating a wonderfully rich bite all piled into what appears to be a scratch-made tortilla. Every bite made me wonder why there isn't more Mexican/Indian fusion in the world. Channa samosa chimichangas for days.

 The braised short rib tacos were less than stellar with the beef slightly under-seasoned although fall apart tender, and the fluffy rustic handmade tortilla ripping underneath the weight of all the fixings. I may not have minded so much if the taco tortilla added flavor or texture, but it was spongy in the wrong ways and overall bland. Kind of surprising due to the emphasis on tacos in the Tinga menu. The ingredients were a bit tryhard here with ginger and shitake marinade, pickled red cabbage, salsa verde, papas bravas (rough-cut roasted potatoes), queso fresco, and crema. Interesting flavor combinations to be sure, but they lack cohesiveness. It felt like culinary shock and awe leaving my pallet with PTSD. 

Great service, a nice selection of seasonal light beers, and a window painting of a taco cowboy riding a unicorn elevated the entire experience to a whole new level. A lot can be said for the relaxed atmosphere and sense of humor at Tinga. I hope to explore more of their menu with the conchita pibil and lamb adobo at the top of my hit list. 

I know you wanted to see it. 

El Azteca - San Diego, CA

I have been doing a lot of traveling up and down California seeking the best of the best in burritos which leaves me with a ton of great content I will be supplying over the next few weeks.

Recently, my travels brought me to sunny San Diego in hopes the proximity to the border would lend itself to quality Mexican food aplenty. A bit of research and luck later brought me to El Azteca in La Mesa.

Unassuming hole in the strip mall that it is seemingly promises nothing new, but D and I pushed through and ordered THE breakfast burrito.

A trend in SD I began noticing was a lack of options. I have grown accustomed to ordering a burrito while specifying the meat, but on more than just a few occasions the burrito on offer was the only one of its kind. An approach I prefer because I know I am being served what they are confident in making, and it eliminates the extraneous costs of keeping a multitude of meats on the ready.

What arrived was simple enough: potatoes, scrambled eggs, melted cheese, and cubed ham accompanied by a red bottle of house hot sauce, but after one bite everything had changed. This simple arrangement of perfectly prepared breakfast staples lifts above the fray staring down with judgement on all lesser breakfast abominations. What magic is this? Why is this so tongue-numbingly good?

First, the ham takes you by surprise. Not many places opt for the ham as the go to breakfast burrito meat filler, and if they do, too often it is the stuff of bargain basement deli counters. This is different. Sweet and salty play against the full-bodied potatoes. The cheesy scramble spreads evenly throughout leaving nothing untouched by the mainline injection of hell yeah, so every bite left me proclaiming the possibility of a heaven and pondering the burrito I may find there.

I was halfway through before it occurred to me to touch the salsa bottle, but I'm glad I did. A comforting heat rose up through sweet tang of the red, and I began to squeeze it over every bite.

One burrito alone made the trip worth it, but, luckily for me, there were so many more magical experiences I can't wait to share. Some of the best burritos I have ever had. Until then enjoy a sexy close up.

Huckleberry - Santa Monica

Huckleberry is an upscale bakery and cafe located back in my old partying grounds of Santa Monica, but being the struggling musician with a taste for dangerous consumables that I was I would have never had the funds to finance such an excursion.

But here I am, a fairly-compensated member of the working class and the threat of a $13 breakfast burrito only pisses me off as I produce the twenty from my wallet. All told I spent $18 when I added the bottle of coke to the mix, and I can't imagine what a burrito would have to do for me to justify this expenditure on the regular.

A grill-pressed burrito, handful of freshly fried chips, cup of salsa, and a cup of sour cream (for dipping?) are arranged nicely for dramatic photo opportunities. Rich golden browns and vibrant greens are the first hints towards the caliber of burrito I am bearing witness to, but my first bite is betrayed by a lack of texture diversity.

The flavor is here. Fresh avocados with well-seasoned potatoes and fluffy organic omelette-style eggs contribute to terrific breakfast goodness, but the almost complete lack of Niman Ranch nitrate-free bacon, which I paid $1 extra for, creates an overall mushy mouth feel. By the end of the burrito the flavors had all blended together. I ended up holding the burrito like a dip container and used the remaining chips' saltiness to help break up the monotony of rich flavors.

I'm not entirely sure if I was just unlucky, but the bacon present was akin to bacon bits and not the roughly chopped strips I am used to. What price point allows for 2 strips of bacon? Do I want to know?

I left Huckleberry a little richer with knowledge and a little poorer with money. $6 at Lucy's or Lucky Boy can buy the Robin Hood of burritos to steal Huckleberry's lunch money and redistribute it to the more efficient, so unless you hate money don't waste your time on this one.

Burritos and Privilege

The amount of sheer joy I derive from living in California in such close proximity to some of the best food America has to offer is often hard to put into words. My town alone has a large population of Latinos, Sikhs, Vietnamese, and a host of various Asian transplants which elevate the local cuisine to delectable heights.

There are mosques and temples, fish markets and panaderias, flea markets, outdoor malls, and a host of experiences to initiate the curious, but I have found the easiest way to learn about a culture is through their food. 

Growing up in Bakersfield there has been no shortage of exposure to Latino culture from quinceaneras, school assemblies with folklorico dancing, weekend swap meets, pinadas, day of the dead celebrations, and the majority of my friends' families who fed and helped raise me into who I am today. 

However, I think a lot of people take for granted this diversity, and some have even come to expect the world to kowtow to their whims. Due to their inherent privilege they assume a level of comfort and respect at all times, and when that is encroached upon they are willing to write off an entire experience.

People sometimes tell me the place I recommended to them had rude service, they were ignored, or they felt like they were being talked down to, and, more often than not, this is a white person entering a predominantly non-white establishment. It is not hard to imagine the same experience is often flipped with non-whites in a white establishment feeling patronized or disrespected by an assumed prejudice employee. Neither side's intent has to be prejudice, but the perception of a new experience can be distorted by ignorance.

Once, I was ordering pizza in the Bronx, and I was confused as to why the guy at the counter would not take my money. He handed me my slices, gave me the drinks, and there was nothing left for me to do but take it to my table and eat. After repeated attempts to hand him money he looked at me with disgust. I paid after I ate and later asked a cab driver why this happened, and he explained that the guy was Italian and most places in New York have more of a "European" way of doing things: you don't pay until you have eaten your food. Here I was righteously indignant when I had been the rude one inadvertently offending him.

This was reinforced at The Algonquin when I waited for a half hour on my check in a not that busy restaurant. I later discovered rushing me out of a table is a faux pas. On both these occasions I thought I was being messed with, but it is just the way things are handled in that culture. In California the server is flipping tables as fast as possible to get the next tip in, but by the end of my stay in New York I was having 1 to 2 hour meals. 

It is no secret America has a rich history of not being kind to others, and those in the privileged class grow used to privileges. When the kitchen tables have turned and said person of privilege finds themselves on the receiving end of discrimination one should chalk it up to an adventure in empathy rather than an excuse to demonize an establishment. Remember that the next time you perceive something off about your service. It is a privilege to get to partake in their culture and have them prepare their food for you. The price of the meal buys so much more than food, but it does not buy you respect. Like anywhere else, respect is earned, so be thankful for the opportunity to earn it. 

Trials and Tribulations in Taft

I went back to Taft. After what happened last time I felt obligated to find something, at the very least, decent, so I asked around and was informed that Vicente's was a supposed local favorite.

When I arrived I was greeted by an eager young man who was all questions about the fine cuisine of Bakersfield. He produced best of lists for me to weigh-in on, and his enthusiasm for food was commendable.

I ordered the "Damn Good Burrito" which normally is served wet, but I asked for the outsides be placed in as to stick with my rules of engagement. What arrived had a dollop of sour cream and guacamole next to a burrito with a meager amount of pre-shredded cheese on top. I scraped the cheese to the side and took my first bite.

Turns out my first bite is closely related to my last bite. I tried to help things out with the "home made" salsa which tasted like novacaine without any of the fun part. The rice is mushy, the beans unseasoned, and the steak did more harm than good. Perhaps if they had put the dollops inside my burrito, the flavorless mess may have been masked in the confusion. Alas, I paid and left the now baffled server to contemplate my new found sense of gtfo.

Not broken nor full I persevered towards a better burrito horizon.

In the parking lot of La Salsa I spied the menu to only have wet burritos, sloppy at that, displayed proudly, so I carried on.

Down the street a lonely taqueria promised food, but the lack of patrons at lunchtime in a pure oil town dissuaded me from making a stop. Until a sea of white trucks materialized around a lone market.

Tacos Y Mariscos Casa Tabares in big black letters on an even bigger white sign is beacon for all weak and weary seeking sustenance. I walked in and asked the first patron I saw, "is this the place?" And without hesitation he answered a resounding, "Yup!"

The blue collars matched my own as they lined up past the salsa bar. The tables were full, and a variety of standards were being consumed leading me to believe this place knows what they are doing.

A couple rig hands asked if I liked spicy, and told me that it might be too much for me but I should try the orange salsa. My pride wanted to shout "YOU DON'T KNOW ME!" but I took it in stride and poured myself a cup of this fabled salsa. One hand starts listing off a bunch of home applications for this particular salsa. He keeps a bottle on hand for when he gets tired, or when he gets a cold, or when he runs out of gas... The list of things this salsa can do is mighty impressive if he is to be believed.

I order the asada burrito and grab a cup of the orange. My first bite was fantastic as the simple beans, rice, and steak mix stood on its own, but when I poured out the orange puree on to a single bite I was in awe. The amount of heat was the perfect flavor enhancer while giving a solid warning to those who may venture too liberal with the application. Not too hot as my my salsa steward would have me believe, but a damn good salsa.

I have found a good burrito in Taft! Not only good, but exceptional with one of my new favorite salsas. I never thought I would actually be excited to head back out to Taft, but Casa Tabares is a beacon of promise in the desert.

Panda Gordo - Bakersfield, CA

One of my favorite people to take out on the town is myself. I'll put on something nice, pick a direction, and head that way ready for whatever the world has for me. This particular Saturday night was all about Niles on the East Side. 

Growing up Niles was the cruising street where everyone would gather their tricked out cars and drive 15mph past the burger joints, arcades, bars, and food shops blasting music. Nowadays that aspect is all but gone, but the neighborhood is dotted with taco trucks, food carts, and 24 hour taquerias for the bleary-eyed late night traveler.

On my way to treat myself I passed a truck set up on Mt. Vernon just before Niles with a sign displaying a chubby bespectacled nerdy fellow squaring off with Kung Fu Panda bordered with color cycling neon LED lights. It was then I knew I was in for a good night. 

I decided to start simple with an Asada burrito, but the they threw in an arrachera taco as a free sample. Never having arrachera before I am pleased to say it was wonderful. So tender it fell apart in my mouth and seasoned much like the asada. Arrachera style utilizes the same cuts of meat as asada, but the meat is tenderized and then marinated to remove any toughness while imbuing tons of flavor. 

The burrito wrap was a handmade tortilla thick and fluffy almost like a gordita with a nice golden brown coloring. It gave a great chew to coincide with the chunky thick-cut steak. Lots of melted cheese mixed with the refried beans and rice, and yet the whole thing somehow felt light and airy as I munched down. 

The night continued with tacos from a handful of trucks as I made my way down Niles. Scratch-made, hand-sized beauties from Lonches Marlene, and freshly sliced off the spit al pastor tacos from the outside grills of Tacolandia. 

I returned home fatter and happier than I had left strengthening the bonds with who I am and what I love. Don't forget to love yourself, and what better way to say "I love you" than with good food. 

Señor Fish - Eagle Rock

Longtime fans of Burrito Life may already have picked up on Jimmy’s lack of personal enthusiasm for seafood, which I know he’s been vocal about on more than one occasion. These tendencies, naturally, have never prevented our overlord from fully appreciating a deftly seasoned Cajun-style lobster burrito, or more gravely assessing a disastrously runny (but still tasty) shrimp conglomeration.

Since my own tastes lean more sharply in the direction of slimy, bottom-dwelling sea creatures, however, I figured I’d jump in and volunteer for the privilege of reviewing Eagle Rock’s notorious mariscos staple, Senor Fish.

My fish preferences, in daily lived experienced, run more toward nigiri than fish tacos, but good scallops inspire both love and respect, regardless of context. Cooking a scallop without screwing it up is nearly damn impossible – overheating a scallop for even a few seconds causes its supple flesh to instantly transform into a phlegm-like, inedible mass of rubber. Even a correctly prepared scallop is so overpoweringly rich, it was difficult to imagine as a burrito filling – how could it possibly mesh viably with the other ingredients? A scallop burrito (especially a relatively cheap one, just shy of $7.50) sounded like a great gimmick for pulling in customers, but despite high hopes and promising Yelp reviews, I felt intensely skeptical.

To my pleasant surprise, Senor Fish’s scallop burrito was as gloriously well crafted as I had dared to fantasize. Whoever conceived of this burrito was smart enough to go light on the main ingredient, allowing the scallops to shine through distinctively without drowning out their supporting elements. The buttery flavor and texture melt seamlessly into the fresh medley of rice, beans, corn, fresh cilantro, and diced onion.

They also nailed the consistency – not only for the scallop burrito, which I had feared might be slimy, but for their vegetarian burrito, which I also got a chance to sample.This veggie burrito went far above and beyond the call of duty, with stewed tomatoes, fresh guacamole, and brilliantly verdant baby spinach providing most of the flavor. The grilled zucchini, though, was the ingredient that stood out most for me thanks to the springy, chewy texture it imparted.

Senor Fish was really a great eating experience overall. I couldn't believe how satisfied I felt as I was leaving. Aside from the food, I fell completely in love with their gorgeously kitschy outdoor patio with its rough-cut, varnished wood countertops, and the giant stone fireplace filling up the main dining room. Eagle Rock is a forty-five minute drive from my apartment, but ten minutes into my meal, I already knew I would be back.

The Case For More Veggie Burritos

A friend of mine who is vegetarian asked me about the best veggie burritos I have had. This made me realize two things: 1. though a quality selection of vegetarian options exist like here and here, there are too few represented in this blog, and 2. I eat A LOT of meat.

To do the math of how many animals I have consumed is kind of shocking. One serving of meat equals one animal -- maybe -- per meal. Bacon for breakfast, turkey sandwich for lunch, and an asada burrito for dinner is at least 3 animals. Multiply that by 365 days for the last 20 years, and I am confronted with an astounding figure of over 20,000 animals.

I don't eat meat for every meal, but for every meatless meal there is probably a barbecue somewhere with a smorgasbord of chicken, sausage, and steaks to rack up the total.

This does not weigh down on me. I don't lose sleep over the food I consume, nor do I have any strong feelings one way or another what any person chooses to do with their diet. One of the quickest ways to see my eyes fog over is to mention "no harm" diets or list all the ways one idea is superior to the other.

That being said, I do believe the future of humanity will be vegetarian. Not because everyone will develop a distaste for meat, but because SCIENCE!

Scientists at the University of Missouri worked more than a decade developing a soy-based chicken substitute with all of the textures and look of chicken. Plant-based proteins have become so sophisticated when the labels on two different chicken salads, one meat-based and one plant-based, were accidentally swapped in production no one was the wiser until the company came forward to admit fault.

Soyrizo is a healthier alternative with nearly identical flavor and texture to traditional chorizo. Whenever the option is available, I'll go soyrizo every time.

Eliminating the need for massive farming operations, slaughterhouses, manure lagoons, and all of the resources going towards the raising and maintaining of millions of animals requires a meat substitute that is as tasty and, most importantly as cheap.

I think the main reason people are so quick to defend an omnivorous diet is socioeconomical. In America a McDonald's hamburger is cheaper and more readily available than an assemblage of produce needed to create a salad. As long as it is cheaper to eat meat vegetarianism will never be a viable option to the vast majority of the world's population.

Personally, I love meat. The vast array of flavors within a single cow boggles my mind and gets my salivary glands all worked up, but I'm willing to admit if I could experience all of it and never force a person to work slave wages in a field, harm another cow, or destroy the environment, I would prefer to be a vegetarian.

What this boils down to, for this blog anyway, is an attempt on my part to incorporate more vegetarian reviews. I want to be able to point towards the best chili relleno burrito just as easy as I do the best arrachera. More burritos for all!

Velo Rouge Cafe - Monday Morning Breakfast Burrito

And we're back. I apologize for the long delay, but I did some travelling, some vacationing, and then a lot of catch up work. Let us start fresh this beautiful Monday morning with a vegetarian option found in the lovely town of San Francisco.

Velo Rouge Cafe down on Arguello Blvd. is a swanky spot to grab some light grub. The menu sports only one burrito with add meat options of bacon or sausage. However, I opted for the traditional Leipheimer breakfast burrito foregoing the meat to see how satisfying a veggy breakfast can be.

When the plate hit the table a smile my face never knew emerged as I gazed on pure burrito perfection. A clean cut on the bias exposed black beans, cheese, avocado, sour cream, eggs, potatoes, and salsa fresca all within a golden brown grilled tortilla.

This breakfast bombshell employs pleasant unexpected flavors. Such fresh complexity demands a pristine meatless experience as crunch precedes mouth fulls of bliss. Black beans and potatoes provide a pleasing resistance and savory component in place of bacon or sausage. An improvement. Not a substitute.

How satisfying can a veggy breakfast be? The most. I want you forever in my life, Leipheimer BB. Never leave.

Any Suggestions?

I would like to begin by saying thank you to everyone who has liked, reblogged, subscribed, or even took the time out to read this collection of burrito reviews. Your support and suggestions make this a rewarding endeavor more so than I ever expected.

So far I have created a twitter, tumblr, and blogspot for Burrito Life, but I would like to continue expanding and offering more for the readership. Would more visual content with burrito-themed posts to pad out the days in between reviews be helpful/fun? I want to keep the focus of this blog on burrito reviews, but if I can make the site more interesting with a diverse array of supplemental content, then let me know.

The question I am most often asked, "what's the best burrito?" is a tough one given the subjectivity in tastes not to mention the complex creations that are burritos. My question to you, reader, is what kind of lists would you like to see? Top asada, best breakfast burritos, spiciest chile verde and other lists documenting the best I've found in each category could be made, and clear links then added to the homepage.

Speaking of a homepage, I am thinking about creating a source webpage that seeds the tumblr, blog, and twitter. This way tumblr feeds are no longer filled with huge blocks of text, and the media isn't so diluted across the different social networks. If you are interested in finishing the article, simply click the read more.

This would also allow me to provide more tools to you in which to search the blog. I'd like suggestions on what kinds of links you'd like to see on the page. I'm thinking an FAQ and reviews by location are of the utmost importance, but any ideas as to what I could add?

T shirts are in the concept stage, but I want to make something nice. Once the art is nailed down I will start shopping around for the manufacturer.

Once again, thank you so very much. The people I've met and conversations I've had because of this blog make it more than worth it. You guys are truly amazing, and I'm glad to share my burrito experiences with you. Please comment, message, or shoot me an ask for all suggestions.

Sincerly,
Jimmy Holliday aka BurritoShepherd

Taco Truck Tuesday - Taqueria Tacambaro

After compiling a list of every taco truck I could find in the Kern county area my first stop was a little hidden truck on Olive Drive in a gas station parking lot called Taqueria Tacambaro. Promising handmade torillas and sporting a healthy amount of patrons gathered under the adjacent tent I had a good feeling about this one.

Most everyone there was eating nachos. Huge piles of chips covered with every ingredient that has ever graced a nacho looked glorious, but this is not Nacho Life.

I order the Asada burito for simplicity's sake, and wait a healthy amount of time for my burrito to be prepared. Whenever it comes out quickly in a one-man taco truck outfit BEWARE!

A clean brick of a burrito is served neatly with a lemon wedge and salsa cup, and my mouth is beginning to water.

Ain't nothing wrong with my first bite, so it has to be right. The steak carries the burrito as it should with a supporting cast of beans, rice, lettuce, cheese, and sour cream. It's exceptionally satisfying and more than enough food to satiate the hungriest of us.

It may seem a bit expensive with the $7 price tag, but with handmade tortillas and quality ingredients I cannot complain. If charging an extra dollar nets quality gains as opposed to the majority of haphazard slapdashery that passes for burritos, then I will gladly pay $2. Too often have I been burned by the promises of a $10 restaurant burrito.

Please excuse me, I think I hear nachos calling my name.

FAFU Friday - Del Taco

 Over the years Del Taco has found a place in my heart by pushing Taco Bell into obscurity. Heavier reliance on seasoned meat rather than gimmicky sauces, ground beef that actually resembles ground beef, and an overall less expensive menu with seemingly higher quality ingredients have more than swayed my opinion on the superior fast food Mexican spot of choice. I find myself almost excited to review some of the new Epic burritos.

For this review we will be taking a look at the Steak & Potato and Chicken Chipotle Ranch burritos.

Chicken Chipotle Ranch

First, the bad. The CCR burrito hosts two sauces, pico de gallo, AND guacamole to accompany fresca lime rice, bacon, lettuce, cheddar cheese, and grilled chicken. Seems like a bit much, but when I tasted the chicken, I needed every bit of sauce to take the edge off the over-powering black pepper. The chicken tasted as if it had been encrusted with black pepper for days. The rice is flavorless and mushy without a hint of lime. This burrito needs to be simplified down to the BLTA it is trying to be.

Steak & Potato

The Steak & Potato, on the other hand, is a straight forward California burrito crinkle-cut fries and all. Sour cream, cheese, and a chipotle sauce add an appreciated creamy respite from the meat and potatoes combo. I've had great California burritos, and this option here is a solid substitution for those outside the realm of acquisition.

A notable difference between the two is the use of sauces. The S&P employs the chipotle sauce traditionally: accentuating and elevating the contents. Where as the CCR's sauces seem to mask and, at times, dominate the burrito which creates a wash of pseudo-spicy blandness.

Both are only $5, but for my money I'll go with the Steak & Potato every time. It does an adequate job recreating the flavors found at yellow sign Mexican spots in Southern California, and for a widespread fast food joint to even get close to such perfection is a thing of beauty.

The smallest voice, "burrito life."

Burritos With My Grandfather

I started the day looking for a new burrito spot. I did not start the day looking to be leveled by nostalgia.

I was driving down North Chester towards La Tapatia which happens to be a lot of Bakersfield's first experience with Mexican food, but I've never once eaten there because my grandfather always took me across the street a few businesses down to El Taquito.

See, this small shack on a broken asphalt slab was right across from his then favorite bar Bud's which later turned into the Long Branch. He spent many a night drinking, fighting, and earning the stories he would one day impart to me across a small wooden table in the brick corner of the burrito joint across the street.

My grandfather ran a lawn service of sorts, and, on the days I would help, we would head over to El Taquito dragging our heels towards the day's beginning. He would tell me, "You can never be late. You arrive when you get there." I may have lost a few jobs over that bit of advice, but I've been able to keep a few more hairs than he had at my age.

Plied with chips and salsa, my grandfather would jump from story to story whether it was about the time he knocked a guy out and his head went under the cigarette machine saving him from further pummeling or the time his wife shot him after she and my great-grandmother were good and drunk arguing over who was going to pull the trigger.

This was the only time in my life when I felt equal with Jim. Like both of our voices were valid. When we were out earning money together, eating asada burritos, and shooting the shit over a bowl of chips. He gave up drinking before I could ever get one in, so the the Coke's over crushed-ice would have to do.

Now, I'm older, and I'm not much on family. Too many wrongs demanding too much to ever make it right have left me stronger and more independent, but sometimes I can feel the hole. It sneaks in and spreads out during quiet times, and then I'm stuck waxing poetic through the dirty window of a taco shop as an old junky pedals his daughter around in the basket of a beat up bicycle.

I savor the asada taco in between bites of everything else. Holding on to it, knowing that the steak is the last thing I want to taste this morning. I mix the pico de gallo with the red sauce like we always did. I spooned it over everything like we always did. But I'm alone, there is no conversation, and I can see his gap-toothed smile like a ghost pulled up a chair.

The man behind the counter didn't understand what I meant when I said I used to have breakfast here with my grandfather. Why I tipped $5 for the $10 meal. I recognized him from when I was a kid, but I'm sure he didn't recognize me. But maybe someday someone will look back on a meal we shared and the good hurt will wash over them, reminding them to slow down and savor what you have with those you love.

Delimart - Bakersfield, CA

If you ask most any oilfield worker, shop hand, or truck driver in the Rosedale area where to get the best breakfast burrito, the majority will steer you towards a convenience store on the corner of Rosedale Hwy and Fruitvale Ave, and the majority would be lying.

Delimart serves up all the typical diner foods, but the breakfast crowd comes for one of two things: the biscuits and gravy or the humongous breakfast burritos.

I'm a large dude with a good appetite, and finishing one half of the petite burrito at Delimart is a monumental task. Any sane person ordering the regular sized BB solely for themselves needs to be reevaluated.

Scrambled eggs, hash browns, and cheddar cheese make up the base to which ham, bacon, sausage, or the combo, consisting of all three, can be added. My own spin is The Big Bad Wolf doing the burrito combo style and adding gravy inside to blow the three little pigs down.

The misconception with Delimart's BB is that biggest translates to best. I prefer a smaller more concentrated effort in my burritos with the focus being on flavor and consistency. When burritos begin to take on the weight, cost, and dimensions of a brick, I tend to lose interest. One has to question the quality of a $5 dollar burrito that weighs upwards of 2 pounds.

I pleaded with the cashier to cook down the hash browns until they are well done, but he told me the potatoes, eggs, and cheese are all in a mix and preparing them any other way would be impossible. Thus, I received hash whites and a bunch of meat flotsam on this final voyage to Delimart for breakfast.

There is no body to this burrito. Everything chews like paste providing zero depth or separation of flavor. The gravy is of the bland white variety, but does a good job melting down the bag cheese. There's Tapatio and Pace salsa cups on offer, but nothing really helps wash away the whiteness.

There are better options on Rosedale highway for a BB fix like here or here, so don't waste your time with this one.

King Taco, Los Angeles

Let's get one thing clear before I divulge my experiences with King Taco. They make a good taco for a good price, and I could eat 10 of them. They pile on the asada, there's good spicy red salsa, and the onions and cilantro deliver as one would expect from a quality Taqueria.

Now, if I really wanted 10 tacos, would I be willing to put up with the overall experience of ordering at King Taco? Hmm...

I guess that's a long line...

When I arrived there was a bit of a line. Maybe 15 people were ahead of me, not Pink's level, but enough to assume the place is doing something right. The tables all seemed to be filled with patrons not eating but waiting to receive their orders while only two of the three registers available were taking orders.

All told D and I were in line for close to 30 minutes until we were allowed to order some tacos, a nacho, and an al pastor burrito because their huge pork spit was seducing me with its slow turns. Another 15 minutes before our food is called out, and I am able to survey this chronophagic assemblage.

The first thing I notice is how small this burrito I just paid $6 for is, and I'm cautiously optimistic in hoping they aren't skimping on ingredients so -- blah blah balh big things in small packages blah blah -- nope, none of that.

I thought it may have been overly-cooked onions mixed with the raw or possibly heavy use of cilantro, but something was definitely off in the al pastor flavor department. Nothing blends in the burrito, so every bite is an unpleasant hodgepodge of mediocre ingredients.

The nachos took me back to high school lunch lines with the chips being poured out of a 5 pound bag into a bin with Chernobyl yellow cheese sauce pumped out on top. Hardly the stuff of kings, but one may be fooled by the $5 chips and cheese price tag.

I'm almost certain my high school wasn't staffed with above-average, volunteer, teenage food service workers, so I can't imagine why it took them so long to assemble this meal. Perhaps what is even more vexing is why anyone would wait around for this quality of food when Los Angeles hosts more Mexican food restaurants and taco trucks than any other place in the US.

Over-priced food, under-whelming flavors, and thoroughly disappointing wait times leaves me shaking rather than bowing my head to King Taco.

Doctor Strangebreakfast: or how I learned to stop worrying and love poverty (Part 2)

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"Write Now Wednesdays" is the day I take time to explain facets of Burrito Life or expand opinions touched upon in previous articles. This week we present the conclusion to last week's story by guest contributor, Devon Ashby.

These tortilla-wrapped masterpieces typically contained cheese – Havarti was a favorite when affordable, but shredded cheddar was my fallback. If it was really a hard-up week, different wet ingredients were substituted for the cheese (or added, just for the hell of it). Chorizo was my standby meat ingredient — beef, pork, cured and uncured – but bacon, diced ham, sausage in its many glorious forms, and even soyrizo all made appearances. The Beverly Discount Market at the end of our block routinely stocked 6-count bags of fresh tortillas, delivered from a bakery just a few streets up, so all I had to do when I ran out of wrappers was put on my shoes and walk to the corner. Other rotating guest stars included black beans, red beans, garlic cloves, fresh cilantro, avocado, rice of many colors and textures, grilled peppers, fresh and stewed tomatoes, and an impressive array of hot sauces and salsas.
 
To this day, breakfast burritos are an important signifier for me, and they’re special for a couple different reasons. I didn’t have a car and there was never enough money for gas anyway, so the frequent need to replenish my stash of ingredients forced me to actually leave my house and explore my own neighborhood. I was living right outside Koreatown in Los Angeles, an area dominated by Guatemalan and Salvadorean small businesses. By going out on foot so many times looking for shredded cheddar or chorizo, I realized that my neighborhood was a fucking goldmine – not just of fresh tortillas, chicharonnes and Guatemalan pastries, but of huge, gorgeous painted mural art. I spent whole afternoons just hoofing up and down the street, gawking at DIY signage for various toy stores, religious icon emporiums, electronic repair shops, and carnicerias, and occasionally wandering inside to examine stacks of 30 year old video game cartridges or mirrored, glass-protected displays of false teeth.

A tortilla stuffed with cheese, meat, and vegetables isn’t the healthiest food on the planet, or the most technically sophisticated. But the cheapness, availability, and raw creative potential of my ingredients usually added up to a pretty happy medium between flavor, nutrition, and affordability. This was the first time in my life I had to make choices about how to manage my resources and take care of myself, and coming home to a meal cooked in 10 minutes that flooded my tastebuds with ecstasy, contained fresh vegetables, and could be held with one hand while watching Jeopardy was one of the few recurring experiences in my life that made me feel I might actually be capable of someday getting my shit together.
 
Most importantly, without fully realizing what was happening, I had the chance to get really good at something, just by doing it over and over again, while still leaving myself some room to play around and experiment. This is probably the most important skill set I’ve ever learned, and the rest of my life’s formative experiences have pretty much just been variations on that same theme over and over again. Breakfast burritos taught me how to be an artist, and how to be an adult. I salute them.

Lucky Boy Drive-In

There's a soft spot in my heart for Pasadena. It feels like a greener, more metropolitan version of my town while maintaining a minimum of traffic and insincerity seemingly more common to other parts of Los Angeles.

Dat Bacon!

Lucky Boy Drive-In closes at 2am with only 4 hours of downtime before starting back up with their amazing breakfast burritos. These breakfast behemoths are packed with delicious thick cuts of dark brown crispy bacon, and the whole sausage links create a structural integrity not unlike rebar. Hash browns, cheddar cheese, and fluffy eggs assembled like the cook might have made this burrito a million times leaves only the cups of fresh spicy salsa to pour on at your discretion.

There was no way I could finish the burrito, but not for lack of trying. The only disappointment was in myself. Why can I not get all of this in my stomach?

It was so good I went back the next afternoon for a pastrami sandwich. Not for any other reason than I love a good pastrami, and I'm on a constant search for one to beat my all-time favorite here back in Bakersfield. I'm happy to report they don't only make amazing breakfast burritos because this was on point.

Lucky Boy is one in a long line of traditional diners. It can be greasy. It is definitely not healthy, but these flavors and techniques are the backbone of American comfort food.