Fuegos Taco Shack & Grill - Bakersfield

Long has it been since I've drawn my pen shining, but I return for the same reason I began: I've found a new best breakfast burrito in Bakersfield.

The journey has been treacherous. Old favorites have been returned to the annals of distaste. Long-standing champs laid waste to new cooks, over-turned management, and the ever-present onslaught of impending greasiness.

Caucacity abounds on the streets of Bakersfield pushing tastes ever further into the depths of mayonnaise, Kraft singles, and butter noodles. Taco trucks come and taco trucks go, but a new contender has been born from the dust serving up "fresh food, not fast food."

I heard about Fuego's from a friend at the bar, so I went the very next day. I had Asada tacos and an Al Pastor burrito. It took 20 minutes or so to get what I ordered, but time is of little importance when taste is the highest concern. Every time I looked up anxiously to see if my order was ready a person was busting their ass over a hot stove and a sign read on the window like a warning as well as a guarantee "fresh food, not fast food."

I have often said I will pay extra and wait longer if they'll just do the damn thing right the first time. A cook blaming their ingredients, their time, or their patron's lack of complacency and support in their grand plan seems like a cop-out, and I refuse to be a contributor to the problem.

So I waited, and my wait was rewarded with hot and delicious fresh food. I sped through an Al Pastor burrito and asada tacos with a fervor facilitated by a bottle of coke. The Al Pastor was fucking fantastic. However, I wasn't moved to write a review...Not yet.

I returned, had more tacos and more burritos. Still, no pressure from the muse. No whispers in the mind. Nothing.

I've driven thousands of miles. Eaten hundreds of burritos in less days. Searched far and wide with beard-face earnest, so the muse doesn't always bare itself to me in all the vulgarity I think I deserve.

I carried on beaten and battered. Lost without a burrito to call home. No morning endeavor holds much promise. That is, until today.

Today, I sought Fuego's breakfast burrito. The #3...although I saw no numbers or even the mention of a breakfast burrito outside of a single white sheet of paper announcing their availability between 7:30am and 10:30am.

Bacon, seasoned potatoes, scrambled eggs, pico de gallo, your choice of red, green, or their own Fuego salsa, and, finally, your choice of meat. That's right, bacon is a condiment. For my money, Al Pastor all the time. Their pork is deliciously seasoned and succulent. The saltiness of the bacon does a back flip in tandem with the peppery potatoes. Scrambled eggs fluff up the burrito giving the illusion of lightness while the pico delivers freshness and acidity to the rich ensemble.

With Fuego sauce, like many scratchmade salsas, one can never be sure which level of heat has shown up. I've had it a few times now, and this morning's batch was by far the hottest and tastiest. Honestly, I needed another cup, but that could be my own problem.

Order came to about $7. To some, I understand this may seem steep, but there were no microwaves. No reheating. The meat you order is cooked for you. Everything you ask for is cooked for you right there. Fresh and hot. You can easily drop more money for way less at any fast food joint. Do your stummy a favor and give it a little fire. You'll be as stoked as I am.

Huckleberry - Santa Monica

Huckleberry is an upscale bakery and cafe located back in my old partying grounds of Santa Monica, but being the struggling musician with a taste for dangerous consumables that I was I would have never had the funds to finance such an excursion.

But here I am, a fairly-compensated member of the working class and the threat of a $13 breakfast burrito only pisses me off as I produce the twenty from my wallet. All told I spent $18 when I added the bottle of coke to the mix, and I can't imagine what a burrito would have to do for me to justify this expenditure on the regular.

A grill-pressed burrito, handful of freshly fried chips, cup of salsa, and a cup of sour cream (for dipping?) are arranged nicely for dramatic photo opportunities. Rich golden browns and vibrant greens are the first hints towards the caliber of burrito I am bearing witness to, but my first bite is betrayed by a lack of texture diversity.

The flavor is here. Fresh avocados with well-seasoned potatoes and fluffy organic omelette-style eggs contribute to terrific breakfast goodness, but the almost complete lack of Niman Ranch nitrate-free bacon, which I paid $1 extra for, creates an overall mushy mouth feel. By the end of the burrito the flavors had all blended together. I ended up holding the burrito like a dip container and used the remaining chips' saltiness to help break up the monotony of rich flavors.

I'm not entirely sure if I was just unlucky, but the bacon present was akin to bacon bits and not the roughly chopped strips I am used to. What price point allows for 2 strips of bacon? Do I want to know?

I left Huckleberry a little richer with knowledge and a little poorer with money. $6 at Lucy's or Lucky Boy can buy the Robin Hood of burritos to steal Huckleberry's lunch money and redistribute it to the more efficient, so unless you hate money don't waste your time on this one.

FAFU Friday - Del Taco

 Over the years Del Taco has found a place in my heart by pushing Taco Bell into obscurity. Heavier reliance on seasoned meat rather than gimmicky sauces, ground beef that actually resembles ground beef, and an overall less expensive menu with seemingly higher quality ingredients have more than swayed my opinion on the superior fast food Mexican spot of choice. I find myself almost excited to review some of the new Epic burritos.

For this review we will be taking a look at the Steak & Potato and Chicken Chipotle Ranch burritos.

Chicken Chipotle Ranch

First, the bad. The CCR burrito hosts two sauces, pico de gallo, AND guacamole to accompany fresca lime rice, bacon, lettuce, cheddar cheese, and grilled chicken. Seems like a bit much, but when I tasted the chicken, I needed every bit of sauce to take the edge off the over-powering black pepper. The chicken tasted as if it had been encrusted with black pepper for days. The rice is flavorless and mushy without a hint of lime. This burrito needs to be simplified down to the BLTA it is trying to be.

Steak & Potato

The Steak & Potato, on the other hand, is a straight forward California burrito crinkle-cut fries and all. Sour cream, cheese, and a chipotle sauce add an appreciated creamy respite from the meat and potatoes combo. I've had great California burritos, and this option here is a solid substitution for those outside the realm of acquisition.

A notable difference between the two is the use of sauces. The S&P employs the chipotle sauce traditionally: accentuating and elevating the contents. Where as the CCR's sauces seem to mask and, at times, dominate the burrito which creates a wash of pseudo-spicy blandness.

Both are only $5, but for my money I'll go with the Steak & Potato every time. It does an adequate job recreating the flavors found at yellow sign Mexican spots in Southern California, and for a widespread fast food joint to even get close to such perfection is a thing of beauty.

Delimart - Bakersfield, CA

If you ask most any oilfield worker, shop hand, or truck driver in the Rosedale area where to get the best breakfast burrito, the majority will steer you towards a convenience store on the corner of Rosedale Hwy and Fruitvale Ave, and the majority would be lying.

Delimart serves up all the typical diner foods, but the breakfast crowd comes for one of two things: the biscuits and gravy or the humongous breakfast burritos.

I'm a large dude with a good appetite, and finishing one half of the petite burrito at Delimart is a monumental task. Any sane person ordering the regular sized BB solely for themselves needs to be reevaluated.

Scrambled eggs, hash browns, and cheddar cheese make up the base to which ham, bacon, sausage, or the combo, consisting of all three, can be added. My own spin is The Big Bad Wolf doing the burrito combo style and adding gravy inside to blow the three little pigs down.

The misconception with Delimart's BB is that biggest translates to best. I prefer a smaller more concentrated effort in my burritos with the focus being on flavor and consistency. When burritos begin to take on the weight, cost, and dimensions of a brick, I tend to lose interest. One has to question the quality of a $5 dollar burrito that weighs upwards of 2 pounds.

I pleaded with the cashier to cook down the hash browns until they are well done, but he told me the potatoes, eggs, and cheese are all in a mix and preparing them any other way would be impossible. Thus, I received hash whites and a bunch of meat flotsam on this final voyage to Delimart for breakfast.

There is no body to this burrito. Everything chews like paste providing zero depth or separation of flavor. The gravy is of the bland white variety, but does a good job melting down the bag cheese. There's Tapatio and Pace salsa cups on offer, but nothing really helps wash away the whiteness.

There are better options on Rosedale highway for a BB fix like here or here, so don't waste your time with this one.

Lucky Boy Drive-In

There's a soft spot in my heart for Pasadena. It feels like a greener, more metropolitan version of my town while maintaining a minimum of traffic and insincerity seemingly more common to other parts of Los Angeles.

Dat Bacon!

Lucky Boy Drive-In closes at 2am with only 4 hours of downtime before starting back up with their amazing breakfast burritos. These breakfast behemoths are packed with delicious thick cuts of dark brown crispy bacon, and the whole sausage links create a structural integrity not unlike rebar. Hash browns, cheddar cheese, and fluffy eggs assembled like the cook might have made this burrito a million times leaves only the cups of fresh spicy salsa to pour on at your discretion.

There was no way I could finish the burrito, but not for lack of trying. The only disappointment was in myself. Why can I not get all of this in my stomach?

It was so good I went back the next afternoon for a pastrami sandwich. Not for any other reason than I love a good pastrami, and I'm on a constant search for one to beat my all-time favorite here back in Bakersfield. I'm happy to report they don't only make amazing breakfast burritos because this was on point.

Lucky Boy is one in a long line of traditional diners. It can be greasy. It is definitely not healthy, but these flavors and techniques are the backbone of American comfort food.