Fuegos Taco Shack & Grill - Bakersfield

Long has it been since I've drawn my pen shining, but I return for the same reason I began: I've found a new best breakfast burrito in Bakersfield.

The journey has been treacherous. Old favorites have been returned to the annals of distaste. Long-standing champs laid waste to new cooks, over-turned management, and the ever-present onslaught of impending greasiness.

Caucacity abounds on the streets of Bakersfield pushing tastes ever further into the depths of mayonnaise, Kraft singles, and butter noodles. Taco trucks come and taco trucks go, but a new contender has been born from the dust serving up "fresh food, not fast food."

I heard about Fuego's from a friend at the bar, so I went the very next day. I had Asada tacos and an Al Pastor burrito. It took 20 minutes or so to get what I ordered, but time is of little importance when taste is the highest concern. Every time I looked up anxiously to see if my order was ready a person was busting their ass over a hot stove and a sign read on the window like a warning as well as a guarantee "fresh food, not fast food."

I have often said I will pay extra and wait longer if they'll just do the damn thing right the first time. A cook blaming their ingredients, their time, or their patron's lack of complacency and support in their grand plan seems like a cop-out, and I refuse to be a contributor to the problem.

So I waited, and my wait was rewarded with hot and delicious fresh food. I sped through an Al Pastor burrito and asada tacos with a fervor facilitated by a bottle of coke. The Al Pastor was fucking fantastic. However, I wasn't moved to write a review...Not yet.

I returned, had more tacos and more burritos. Still, no pressure from the muse. No whispers in the mind. Nothing.

I've driven thousands of miles. Eaten hundreds of burritos in less days. Searched far and wide with beard-face earnest, so the muse doesn't always bare itself to me in all the vulgarity I think I deserve.

I carried on beaten and battered. Lost without a burrito to call home. No morning endeavor holds much promise. That is, until today.

Today, I sought Fuego's breakfast burrito. The #3...although I saw no numbers or even the mention of a breakfast burrito outside of a single white sheet of paper announcing their availability between 7:30am and 10:30am.

Bacon, seasoned potatoes, scrambled eggs, pico de gallo, your choice of red, green, or their own Fuego salsa, and, finally, your choice of meat. That's right, bacon is a condiment. For my money, Al Pastor all the time. Their pork is deliciously seasoned and succulent. The saltiness of the bacon does a back flip in tandem with the peppery potatoes. Scrambled eggs fluff up the burrito giving the illusion of lightness while the pico delivers freshness and acidity to the rich ensemble.

With Fuego sauce, like many scratchmade salsas, one can never be sure which level of heat has shown up. I've had it a few times now, and this morning's batch was by far the hottest and tastiest. Honestly, I needed another cup, but that could be my own problem.

Order came to about $7. To some, I understand this may seem steep, but there were no microwaves. No reheating. The meat you order is cooked for you. Everything you ask for is cooked for you right there. Fresh and hot. You can easily drop more money for way less at any fast food joint. Do your stummy a favor and give it a little fire. You'll be as stoked as I am.

El Azteca - San Diego, CA

I have been doing a lot of traveling up and down California seeking the best of the best in burritos which leaves me with a ton of great content I will be supplying over the next few weeks.

Recently, my travels brought me to sunny San Diego in hopes the proximity to the border would lend itself to quality Mexican food aplenty. A bit of research and luck later brought me to El Azteca in La Mesa.

Unassuming hole in the strip mall that it is seemingly promises nothing new, but D and I pushed through and ordered THE breakfast burrito.

A trend in SD I began noticing was a lack of options. I have grown accustomed to ordering a burrito while specifying the meat, but on more than just a few occasions the burrito on offer was the only one of its kind. An approach I prefer because I know I am being served what they are confident in making, and it eliminates the extraneous costs of keeping a multitude of meats on the ready.

What arrived was simple enough: potatoes, scrambled eggs, melted cheese, and cubed ham accompanied by a red bottle of house hot sauce, but after one bite everything had changed. This simple arrangement of perfectly prepared breakfast staples lifts above the fray staring down with judgement on all lesser breakfast abominations. What magic is this? Why is this so tongue-numbingly good?

First, the ham takes you by surprise. Not many places opt for the ham as the go to breakfast burrito meat filler, and if they do, too often it is the stuff of bargain basement deli counters. This is different. Sweet and salty play against the full-bodied potatoes. The cheesy scramble spreads evenly throughout leaving nothing untouched by the mainline injection of hell yeah, so every bite left me proclaiming the possibility of a heaven and pondering the burrito I may find there.

I was halfway through before it occurred to me to touch the salsa bottle, but I'm glad I did. A comforting heat rose up through sweet tang of the red, and I began to squeeze it over every bite.

One burrito alone made the trip worth it, but, luckily for me, there were so many more magical experiences I can't wait to share. Some of the best burritos I have ever had. Until then enjoy a sexy close up.

Huckleberry - Santa Monica

Huckleberry is an upscale bakery and cafe located back in my old partying grounds of Santa Monica, but being the struggling musician with a taste for dangerous consumables that I was I would have never had the funds to finance such an excursion.

But here I am, a fairly-compensated member of the working class and the threat of a $13 breakfast burrito only pisses me off as I produce the twenty from my wallet. All told I spent $18 when I added the bottle of coke to the mix, and I can't imagine what a burrito would have to do for me to justify this expenditure on the regular.

A grill-pressed burrito, handful of freshly fried chips, cup of salsa, and a cup of sour cream (for dipping?) are arranged nicely for dramatic photo opportunities. Rich golden browns and vibrant greens are the first hints towards the caliber of burrito I am bearing witness to, but my first bite is betrayed by a lack of texture diversity.

The flavor is here. Fresh avocados with well-seasoned potatoes and fluffy organic omelette-style eggs contribute to terrific breakfast goodness, but the almost complete lack of Niman Ranch nitrate-free bacon, which I paid $1 extra for, creates an overall mushy mouth feel. By the end of the burrito the flavors had all blended together. I ended up holding the burrito like a dip container and used the remaining chips' saltiness to help break up the monotony of rich flavors.

I'm not entirely sure if I was just unlucky, but the bacon present was akin to bacon bits and not the roughly chopped strips I am used to. What price point allows for 2 strips of bacon? Do I want to know?

I left Huckleberry a little richer with knowledge and a little poorer with money. $6 at Lucy's or Lucky Boy can buy the Robin Hood of burritos to steal Huckleberry's lunch money and redistribute it to the more efficient, so unless you hate money don't waste your time on this one.

Velo Rouge Cafe - Monday Morning Breakfast Burrito

And we're back. I apologize for the long delay, but I did some travelling, some vacationing, and then a lot of catch up work. Let us start fresh this beautiful Monday morning with a vegetarian option found in the lovely town of San Francisco.

Velo Rouge Cafe down on Arguello Blvd. is a swanky spot to grab some light grub. The menu sports only one burrito with add meat options of bacon or sausage. However, I opted for the traditional Leipheimer breakfast burrito foregoing the meat to see how satisfying a veggy breakfast can be.

When the plate hit the table a smile my face never knew emerged as I gazed on pure burrito perfection. A clean cut on the bias exposed black beans, cheese, avocado, sour cream, eggs, potatoes, and salsa fresca all within a golden brown grilled tortilla.

This breakfast bombshell employs pleasant unexpected flavors. Such fresh complexity demands a pristine meatless experience as crunch precedes mouth fulls of bliss. Black beans and potatoes provide a pleasing resistance and savory component in place of bacon or sausage. An improvement. Not a substitute.

How satisfying can a veggy breakfast be? The most. I want you forever in my life, Leipheimer BB. Never leave.

Delimart - Bakersfield, CA

If you ask most any oilfield worker, shop hand, or truck driver in the Rosedale area where to get the best breakfast burrito, the majority will steer you towards a convenience store on the corner of Rosedale Hwy and Fruitvale Ave, and the majority would be lying.

Delimart serves up all the typical diner foods, but the breakfast crowd comes for one of two things: the biscuits and gravy or the humongous breakfast burritos.

I'm a large dude with a good appetite, and finishing one half of the petite burrito at Delimart is a monumental task. Any sane person ordering the regular sized BB solely for themselves needs to be reevaluated.

Scrambled eggs, hash browns, and cheddar cheese make up the base to which ham, bacon, sausage, or the combo, consisting of all three, can be added. My own spin is The Big Bad Wolf doing the burrito combo style and adding gravy inside to blow the three little pigs down.

The misconception with Delimart's BB is that biggest translates to best. I prefer a smaller more concentrated effort in my burritos with the focus being on flavor and consistency. When burritos begin to take on the weight, cost, and dimensions of a brick, I tend to lose interest. One has to question the quality of a $5 dollar burrito that weighs upwards of 2 pounds.

I pleaded with the cashier to cook down the hash browns until they are well done, but he told me the potatoes, eggs, and cheese are all in a mix and preparing them any other way would be impossible. Thus, I received hash whites and a bunch of meat flotsam on this final voyage to Delimart for breakfast.

There is no body to this burrito. Everything chews like paste providing zero depth or separation of flavor. The gravy is of the bland white variety, but does a good job melting down the bag cheese. There's Tapatio and Pace salsa cups on offer, but nothing really helps wash away the whiteness.

There are better options on Rosedale highway for a BB fix like here or here, so don't waste your time with this one.

Doctor Strangebreakfast: or how I learned to stop worrying and love poverty (Part 2)

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"Write Now Wednesdays" is the day I take time to explain facets of Burrito Life or expand opinions touched upon in previous articles. This week we present the conclusion to last week's story by guest contributor, Devon Ashby.

These tortilla-wrapped masterpieces typically contained cheese – Havarti was a favorite when affordable, but shredded cheddar was my fallback. If it was really a hard-up week, different wet ingredients were substituted for the cheese (or added, just for the hell of it). Chorizo was my standby meat ingredient — beef, pork, cured and uncured – but bacon, diced ham, sausage in its many glorious forms, and even soyrizo all made appearances. The Beverly Discount Market at the end of our block routinely stocked 6-count bags of fresh tortillas, delivered from a bakery just a few streets up, so all I had to do when I ran out of wrappers was put on my shoes and walk to the corner. Other rotating guest stars included black beans, red beans, garlic cloves, fresh cilantro, avocado, rice of many colors and textures, grilled peppers, fresh and stewed tomatoes, and an impressive array of hot sauces and salsas.
 
To this day, breakfast burritos are an important signifier for me, and they’re special for a couple different reasons. I didn’t have a car and there was never enough money for gas anyway, so the frequent need to replenish my stash of ingredients forced me to actually leave my house and explore my own neighborhood. I was living right outside Koreatown in Los Angeles, an area dominated by Guatemalan and Salvadorean small businesses. By going out on foot so many times looking for shredded cheddar or chorizo, I realized that my neighborhood was a fucking goldmine – not just of fresh tortillas, chicharonnes and Guatemalan pastries, but of huge, gorgeous painted mural art. I spent whole afternoons just hoofing up and down the street, gawking at DIY signage for various toy stores, religious icon emporiums, electronic repair shops, and carnicerias, and occasionally wandering inside to examine stacks of 30 year old video game cartridges or mirrored, glass-protected displays of false teeth.

A tortilla stuffed with cheese, meat, and vegetables isn’t the healthiest food on the planet, or the most technically sophisticated. But the cheapness, availability, and raw creative potential of my ingredients usually added up to a pretty happy medium between flavor, nutrition, and affordability. This was the first time in my life I had to make choices about how to manage my resources and take care of myself, and coming home to a meal cooked in 10 minutes that flooded my tastebuds with ecstasy, contained fresh vegetables, and could be held with one hand while watching Jeopardy was one of the few recurring experiences in my life that made me feel I might actually be capable of someday getting my shit together.
 
Most importantly, without fully realizing what was happening, I had the chance to get really good at something, just by doing it over and over again, while still leaving myself some room to play around and experiment. This is probably the most important skill set I’ve ever learned, and the rest of my life’s formative experiences have pretty much just been variations on that same theme over and over again. Breakfast burritos taught me how to be an artist, and how to be an adult. I salute them.

Lucky Boy Drive-In

There's a soft spot in my heart for Pasadena. It feels like a greener, more metropolitan version of my town while maintaining a minimum of traffic and insincerity seemingly more common to other parts of Los Angeles.

Dat Bacon!

Lucky Boy Drive-In closes at 2am with only 4 hours of downtime before starting back up with their amazing breakfast burritos. These breakfast behemoths are packed with delicious thick cuts of dark brown crispy bacon, and the whole sausage links create a structural integrity not unlike rebar. Hash browns, cheddar cheese, and fluffy eggs assembled like the cook might have made this burrito a million times leaves only the cups of fresh spicy salsa to pour on at your discretion.

There was no way I could finish the burrito, but not for lack of trying. The only disappointment was in myself. Why can I not get all of this in my stomach?

It was so good I went back the next afternoon for a pastrami sandwich. Not for any other reason than I love a good pastrami, and I'm on a constant search for one to beat my all-time favorite here back in Bakersfield. I'm happy to report they don't only make amazing breakfast burritos because this was on point.

Lucky Boy is one in a long line of traditional diners. It can be greasy. It is definitely not healthy, but these flavors and techniques are the backbone of American comfort food.

Doctor Strangebreakfast: or how I learned to stop worrying and love poverty

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"Write Now Wednesdays" is the day I take time to explain facets of Burrito Life or expand opinions touched upon in previous articles. This week we begin a series by guest writer Devon Ashby.

So in my early twenties, like most people, I went through a financial trial-by-fire period of not really being able to feed myself properly.

In my particular case, this was due to the trifecta of being unemployed, not wanting to live at home anymore, and not having very good sense about how to manage my money. My roommate and I were mentally and financially coordinated enough never to lack for toilet paper, Diet Coke, cigarettes, or cheap, gut-poisoning liquor products, but a majority of the hot meals we consumed came from the $5 pizza restaurant next to our Laundromat, or out of a box with a big orange 99 cent sticker on it.

Aside from the perennial stand-bys of ramen noodles and pasta, three ingredients were always present in our otherwise threadbare kitchen, and those three staples transformed what could have been a purgatory of darkness, self-doubt, and chronic stomachaches into a magical period of gustatory self-discovery. Those three ingredients were: fresh tortillas, chorizo, and eggs.

Prior to moving out of my parents’ house, I’m pretty sure I was at least introduced to the concept of breakfast burritos. Tragically, however, I have no specific early memories of my experiences with this fateful staple of my transitional adulthood. With aforementioned budgetary constraints mapping out an entirely new grocery template, though, I knew I would have to start getting creative, or resign myself indefinitely to a menu of empty carbohydrates, tinfoil seasoning packets, and processed cheeses. Tortillas and eggs seemed like a no-brainer since they’re two of the cheapest foods you can buy, and with the bulk of the work established, the rest of my grocery list fell rapidly into step. Breakfast burritos became a three-or-four-nights-a-week tradition.

To be continued...

Los Altos

Finding a good burrito within walking distance of the house is like finding a twenty on the ground, so when I found Los Altos on Chester and 2nd I didn't expect them to deliver like they did.

I began with their chorizo breakfast burrito which is a little odd for me because I tend to go with plain breakfast sausage for my first go around, but ham, bacon, and chorizo were the only options.

I tend to shy away from chorizo due to many experiences with burnt brown chorizo bits sopped in bright red grease. Chorizo doesn't change colors like most meats when cooked through, but will change colors when burned. The amount of cooks who either don't know this or choose not to care is baffling.

With this knowledge I interrogated the lady a bit on the quality of their chorizo, and she said confidently it was good but the cook chimed in "it's great" with a tone in his voice like I challenged him to a duel.

It was on. He took his time cooking every ingredient fresh, and the smells coming form the open kitchen were promising, if not intoxicating.

My eyes widened with the first chomp. Everything is in its place. The eggs are cooked down to the little eggy crumbles, but the huge kicker is the chorizo. No grease. No wet tortilla. No shiny hands. Perfect bright red bits mixed into the burrito without being burnt and carrying flavors rare to the world of chorizo BBs.

Around $5 and just as many blocks from my place I found something special. Thank you, Los Altos, for teaching the world the beauty of well-prepared chorizo so close to my house, and now close to my heart.

Secret Spot

Behind a gas station in a strip mall on the waterfront in Huntington Beach is a vegan beach bum heaven known as Secret Spot. "Kind Grub" is on the sign, and the atmosphere is artsy with paintings for sale all over the small dining room walls. 

There are at least 5 different breakfast burritos offering a variety of vegetables and meat substitutes. I chose the #4 which has potatoes, avocado, eggs, cheese, salsa, and soyrizo for my meat (black forest ham and vegi turkey are also available). I'm a big fan of soyrizo, and if I ever take the vegi plunge, soyrizo will become a mainstay in my diet. 

Perhaps it was the salty air or the sleepyheaded cook and cashier, but the first word that came to mind upon biting was "dank." This burrito is filled to capacity with big chunks of avocado adding a mellow counterpoint to the big spices of the soyrizo. 

The potatoes gave a much appreciated boost to the body of the burrito complemented yet again by the hearty avocados. 

No compromises are made in flavor due to the lack of meat, and I imagine most people would find it hard distinguishing good soyrizo from chorizo. 

Minor gripe to the burrito coming out to almost $9, and the chips and soupy salsa tasting like despair. One of the most expensive breakfast burritos I've ever had because eating "cruelty-free" gets expensive. 

They have less expensive basic breakfast burritos, but the more complex flavors are what separates and elevates Secret Spot to a worthy stop next time I'm having a day at the beach. 

Super Tom's

The parallels between Super Tom’s breakfast burrito and Oildale, CA are many and deep.

For those of you not familiar with the Kern county landscape Oildale is a microcosm of trailer parks, dirt bikes, methamphetamine, and minimalist fashion statements such as bare feet and spiderweb tattoos. You know, stuff white people like. 

Super Tom’s is located at one of Oildale’s hellmouths beyond the Chester bridge at Roberts Lane, and offers standard diner fare including the ever-present BB. 

Much like Oildale, Tom’s BB is lacking in taste. Potatoes possibly just pulled from boiling water. Cheddar cheese, eggs, sausage, and a pico de gallo mix all make appearances, but lack any memorable or particularly exciting characteristics. 

No egregious errors in flavor, but it is pretty hard to mess up something that’s not there.

Lots of burritos turn out this way and are served all over the place. They are adequate in a pinch, and satisfy some people’s need for a tortilla aggregated breakfast. However, just because lots of people do it and it works doesn’t mean you should. Much like not wearing shoes.

Super Tom’s breakfast burrito is the bare feet of breakfast. 

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"Write Now Wednesdays" is the day I take time to explain facets of Burrito Life or expand opinions touched upon in previous articles. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about breakfast burritos. What is the secret combination? Does everything on the burrito have to be prepared just right? Is there a unifying goodness that everybody can appreciate? Hash browns or country potatoes? 

Unlike most burritos, it seems there are so many ways to go wrong in a BB. Slimy scrambled eggs could over saturate the potatoes and ruin the bite. Hash browns aren’t cooked-through, so raw potato flavor masks any good inside the burrito. Or the biggest offender: grease pouring out of the meat and soaking the entire tortilla.

The chemistry is daunting. It is no wonder fast food restaurants can skate by with mediocre baby burritos and dime store hot sauce. 

I imagine my perfect breakfast burrito would start with country potatoes. Not only are they easier to prepare, in theory, but the atmosphere inside a tortilla gets pretty humid. The body of a well done potato holds up as opposed to the suspect crunchiness in hash browns. 

Scrambled eggs are better cooked down for similar reasons. Get as much moisture out of the eggs before wrapping them in the tortilla to avoid a big wet bite. This also allows for better inclusion of other ingredients because real estate is not being relegated to a small omelette. 

Cheese and pico de gallo are things better left to burritos later in the day. Most places that put PDG in their burritos shouldn’t have, and the few that know what they are doing are only gilding the lily. 

That said, a spicy red hot sauce goes a long way in cleaning up any burrito. With the right salsa, anything is possible. 

On the regular, I choose sausage as my meat of choice in a breakfast burrito, but that is only because most places don’t offer a hot link burrito, Hot link sausage is low on grease and high on flavor; something lacking in almost every other breakfast meat.

Sausage, in general, is the great equalizer between flimsy grease slabs of ham and tiny sharp bacon crumbles that do more to remind you of what bacon tastes like rather than satisfy any bacon cravings. Even cheap store-bought sausage can be chopped up and make great burritos with enough love. 

What’s your opinion? What is an ideal breakfast burrito to you?