El Dollar Taqueria - Wasco, CA

At least once a week I drive down 7th Standard/Merle Haggard Highway on my way into town from visiting the oilfields, and I pass the same taco truck seemingly stranded on the side of the road. More often than not, by the time I pass by I am full of empanadas from El Sol De Guadalajara bakery, but it was time to find out how they were single-handedly holding down this stretch of highway.

I pull up among a group of white work trucks, so it seems one lady alone is providing a service to the field and factory workers operating close by. Birria, Lengua, Cabeza, Carnitas, and chicken were all available to be done up into tacos, burritos, or tortas, but I chose to play it safe and conservative with an Asada burrito.

Looking down into my bite mark I can see a veritable Mexican cornucopia spilling out. Deep red chiles and dark green cilantro accent blackened steak while a solid supporting cast of rice, beans, and onions fill out the lightly toasted tortilla. My only complaint lies in the cut and quality of steak I received. More than a couple bites were met with chewy gristle which can take even the most devout right out of the joy in great tasting food. 

Either way, I am undeterred. The promise written in the tastes contained within this burrito ensure I shall return to sample the other offerings. Especially after seeing the ever-elusive birria on menu. 

Be sure to ask for a side of hot sauce. The red adds a good heat with even more flavor. 

Trials and Tribulations in Taft

I went back to Taft. After what happened last time I felt obligated to find something, at the very least, decent, so I asked around and was informed that Vicente's was a supposed local favorite.

When I arrived I was greeted by an eager young man who was all questions about the fine cuisine of Bakersfield. He produced best of lists for me to weigh-in on, and his enthusiasm for food was commendable.

I ordered the "Damn Good Burrito" which normally is served wet, but I asked for the outsides be placed in as to stick with my rules of engagement. What arrived had a dollop of sour cream and guacamole next to a burrito with a meager amount of pre-shredded cheese on top. I scraped the cheese to the side and took my first bite.

Turns out my first bite is closely related to my last bite. I tried to help things out with the "home made" salsa which tasted like novacaine without any of the fun part. The rice is mushy, the beans unseasoned, and the steak did more harm than good. Perhaps if they had put the dollops inside my burrito, the flavorless mess may have been masked in the confusion. Alas, I paid and left the now baffled server to contemplate my new found sense of gtfo.

Not broken nor full I persevered towards a better burrito horizon.

In the parking lot of La Salsa I spied the menu to only have wet burritos, sloppy at that, displayed proudly, so I carried on.

Down the street a lonely taqueria promised food, but the lack of patrons at lunchtime in a pure oil town dissuaded me from making a stop. Until a sea of white trucks materialized around a lone market.

Tacos Y Mariscos Casa Tabares in big black letters on an even bigger white sign is beacon for all weak and weary seeking sustenance. I walked in and asked the first patron I saw, "is this the place?" And without hesitation he answered a resounding, "Yup!"

The blue collars matched my own as they lined up past the salsa bar. The tables were full, and a variety of standards were being consumed leading me to believe this place knows what they are doing.

A couple rig hands asked if I liked spicy, and told me that it might be too much for me but I should try the orange salsa. My pride wanted to shout "YOU DON'T KNOW ME!" but I took it in stride and poured myself a cup of this fabled salsa. One hand starts listing off a bunch of home applications for this particular salsa. He keeps a bottle on hand for when he gets tired, or when he gets a cold, or when he runs out of gas... The list of things this salsa can do is mighty impressive if he is to be believed.

I order the asada burrito and grab a cup of the orange. My first bite was fantastic as the simple beans, rice, and steak mix stood on its own, but when I poured out the orange puree on to a single bite I was in awe. The amount of heat was the perfect flavor enhancer while giving a solid warning to those who may venture too liberal with the application. Not too hot as my my salsa steward would have me believe, but a damn good salsa.

I have found a good burrito in Taft! Not only good, but exceptional with one of my new favorite salsas. I never thought I would actually be excited to head back out to Taft, but Casa Tabares is a beacon of promise in the desert.

King Taco, Los Angeles

Let's get one thing clear before I divulge my experiences with King Taco. They make a good taco for a good price, and I could eat 10 of them. They pile on the asada, there's good spicy red salsa, and the onions and cilantro deliver as one would expect from a quality Taqueria.

Now, if I really wanted 10 tacos, would I be willing to put up with the overall experience of ordering at King Taco? Hmm...

I guess that's a long line...

When I arrived there was a bit of a line. Maybe 15 people were ahead of me, not Pink's level, but enough to assume the place is doing something right. The tables all seemed to be filled with patrons not eating but waiting to receive their orders while only two of the three registers available were taking orders.

All told D and I were in line for close to 30 minutes until we were allowed to order some tacos, a nacho, and an al pastor burrito because their huge pork spit was seducing me with its slow turns. Another 15 minutes before our food is called out, and I am able to survey this chronophagic assemblage.

The first thing I notice is how small this burrito I just paid $6 for is, and I'm cautiously optimistic in hoping they aren't skimping on ingredients so -- blah blah balh big things in small packages blah blah -- nope, none of that.

I thought it may have been overly-cooked onions mixed with the raw or possibly heavy use of cilantro, but something was definitely off in the al pastor flavor department. Nothing blends in the burrito, so every bite is an unpleasant hodgepodge of mediocre ingredients.

The nachos took me back to high school lunch lines with the chips being poured out of a 5 pound bag into a bin with Chernobyl yellow cheese sauce pumped out on top. Hardly the stuff of kings, but one may be fooled by the $5 chips and cheese price tag.

I'm almost certain my high school wasn't staffed with above-average, volunteer, teenage food service workers, so I can't imagine why it took them so long to assemble this meal. Perhaps what is even more vexing is why anyone would wait around for this quality of food when Los Angeles hosts more Mexican food restaurants and taco trucks than any other place in the US.

Over-priced food, under-whelming flavors, and thoroughly disappointing wait times leaves me shaking rather than bowing my head to King Taco.

Chips & Salsa

There's nothing sadder than a cook who thinks he's a chef.

When I sat down to order the Giant Burrito with steak I did not expect the cook to put on a show with the garnish. Two (steamed? boiled?) whole green onions were curled up like a crime scene on top with some sort of red onion minced concoction piled beside it. The acrid smell wafting up from the burrito smelled not unlike a gym bag soaked in bath water.

Lesser reviewers may have given up right here, but I pushed the accoutrements aside to delve in to what looks like, by the inside, a meal with promise.

The steak is perhaps a bit over-cooked and the rice is under-seasoned, but the over-all combination is decent. The onions have impregnated the tortilla, thus my hands, with their stench, but I persevere heaping on the salsa and trying to lose myself inside the burrito where the smell has yet to reach.

Dispersing the ingredients evenly is not one of their strong suits as I am frequently met with gobs of sour cream and bushels of lettuce chiffonade.

The beer is cold and the waitress has a nice smile, but I can't get beyond those damn green onions. Did you lose your sense of smell in a grease fire?

One final note, the chips were of the red and yellow variety and the salsa was more akin to a bland soup. For a place that took the name "Chips & Salsa" one would think they may try and shine in that area. Maybe the time they devote to stewing onions for the garnish they could learn how to fry up some tortillas and make more than one salsa for dipping, but I digress.

At least there's beer. If you drink enough of it, you can probably ignore their shortcomings.

Rubio's Fresh Mexican Grill

FAFU FRIDAY!!!

Every Friday I review a chain restaurant to incorporate more of the readership into all of the burrito fun. 

Rubio's hails from San Diego, but has setup all along the western United States hocking "fresh mex" ranging from fish tacos to gourmet burritos. 

"Fresh mex" or "new wave Mexican" is an insipid movement particularly common in the US combining traditional Mexican with ingredients reserved usually for haute cuisine. Cilantro infusions, avocado soups, and tomato reductions are applied to accentuate different flavors hidden in simple dishes. 

Of course, Rubio's is still a casual dining experience more akin to fast food than the French Laundry, but the core principles still define what separates this restaurant from your average walk-up. 

I opted for the Burrito Especial with steak and swapped the citrus-rice for more traditional orange party rice. Romaine lettuce, whole black beans, salsa fresca, guacamole, chipotle sauce, and red tomato salsa are also crammed into this burrito making me think one thing: you're trying too hard. 

Don't get me wrong, burrito, you taste fine, but your insecurities are showing with how much you tug my taste buds every which way. There is so much going on it all kind of blends together into one androgynous tongue-numbing thump. No heat. No spice. Just a cacophony of flavors banging loudly all at once. 

Luckily, their salsa bar is mighty, stocked with pickled carrots and jalapenos, four different salsas, golden state peppers, and lemons which allowed me to heat up and contextualize separate sections of my flavor experience. 

Not to sound like a Luddite, but I tend to get lost in less-traditional, high-cuisine burritos that seek to improve upon solid classics. I know my burrito was assembled by a teenager, but they are still approaching the equation wrong by adding chipotle sauces and citrus rices to round out my burrito rather than trusting the steak and salsa to do their jobs. 

Other places have succeeded in bringing something truly unique which elevates burrito culture like the Kogi trucks or expands the definition like Oki-Dogs, but sometimes it can all be too much and nothing is gained, 

...and quick side note: What the hell was up with the side of black pepper bean soup? I had beans in my burrito, and yet you felt the need to give me an entire cup as a side. Thanks?

Taco Truck Tuesday - Truck Vs Truck

Carne Asada Burrtio From Estilo Jalisco

Al Pastor Burrito From Tacos Jalisco

Two taco trucks take refuse near Pacheco on Union in South Bakersfield: Tacos Jalisco and Estilo Jalisco. Located directly across from each other, these warring brethren go taco for taco every evening. 

At first glance, the competition seems trivial as I approach Tacos Jalisco in full swing with 15 hungry customers waiting patiently outside. I order an al pastor burrito and one asada taco, and my buddy crossed the way to order Asada burritos from Estilo Jalisco. 

In the time I sat waiting for the AP burritos form TJ I could have ordered 16 burritos from EJ, but I'm a patient person willing to wait for good food. To be fair, EJ was not working against a crowd like their mirror match. 

We returned to my buddy's house to assess our bounty in uninterrupted earnest. 

TJ's presentation brings a lot of color instantly activating my salivary glands while EJ's salsas and burrito take on a much milder tone with the tortilla appearing grey by comparison. 

My first bite of the al pastor is filled with flavor, but the next few bites were a little heavy on the cilantro which was packed into a tight green tube running the length of the burrito. Both the green and red salsas brought a good amount of depth, I preferred the red, but not a lot of heat to be found in either option. 

The asada, on the other hand, is well-seasoned, not over, and has the dimensions and weight of a brick. No nonsense to be found, just the basics done well. The salsas here are hotter, but lack the freshness and pop of TJ's salsa. 

If the al pastor is a sports car with all its flash and show, the asada is an old beater you can always depend on to get you from a to b. 

There are better places for both burritos in Bakersfield, but I have to give the overall win to Taco Jalisco's al pastor burrito. Its fresh ingredients and flavorful salsas went a long way towards securing victory. EJ's asada is a good solid effort, but in a town only a few hours from Mexico good asada isn't in short supply.

That said, after having TJ's asada taco, maybe they should cross the street and ask their neighbors for help. With the impressive quality of the al pastor and salsa the shallow tongue-numbing flavor in their steak was appalling.